Who gives the single girl twins?
I got certified as a foster mom on August 14th, 2018. Now all I had to do was wait for the call. I had begun collecting baby items from my friends as the age range I selected is 0-18 months and I was collecting multiples because I did agree to take up to 2. I would hear stories that foster families would wait months for their first placement especially for babies, so I was completely shocked when I got my first call on August 29th. The intake coordinator says “We just got a call about twins. Are you available to pick them up at Children’s Hospital in 2 hours if you get selected”? I said “yes” because who gives the single girl twins when all of the other options had a foster mom and foster dad so I really didn’t expect a callback. Two hours later the phone rings and the intake coordinator asked when I could be at Children’s. I will call the twins Luke and Lucy for privacy reasons and that is actually what my gram called them (not their real names!). So, I immediately run to Walmart and call my friend Freya, and say “these are things I have, what else do I need to get”? I throw everything she told me to get plus some more stuff in the buggy and off I go. They ended up not being discharged until the next day, so I had all night to think about the fact that I was getting twins!
I had never kept a child overnight before, let alone 2! When we came home from the hospital my friend and his parents came over to meet Luke and Lucy and help. That was the beginning of a 2 ½ month adventure full of laughter, fun, love and worry, anxiety, fear and heartbreak and so many more emotions. Friends and family came over every night for that entire time to help get them ready for bed. I had a rule, no one could leave before putting a sleeping baby in a crib! Friends and family came over with dinner, a group of friends came over and helped wash 7 loads of baby clothes and then fold and organize them, friends came over for lots of snuggles and friends came over so I could nap and run errands without taking two babies out with me, friends came over for bath time and so much more. I never knew I could love a child as much as I loved those babies. They were just magical in so many ways and amongst all the chaos in their lives, they were always happy, smiling, loving, and making all of us laugh.
Tears fall down my face as I write about them because I will always miss them, and they will forever be in my heart. When you start fostering you imagine it will be hard when your placements leave because if you have them any length of time, you will become attached, but I had no idea what that would be like until the day CYF called and said they would be at my door in 30 minutes and to have the babies ready, they were going home. I didn’t know they were leaving that day. Two CYF workers whom I had never meant show up at my door and I politely tell them not to come in and I just hand them Luke and Lucy at the door as I am bawling my eyes out. It was one of the hardest days of my life. And then I just wondered how people do this over and over again...I still don’t know the answer to that. Some days I really wonder how many times your heart can survive saying goodbye. I have to remind myself constantly that I did survive and although I still cry from missing them, it was worth it to have had them in my life and while it sucks to experience, I know I will do it several more times.
Today, I have a great relationship with their mom and she has become a part of our family. The twins will be 2 this month and my mom and I will attend their birthday party. We spend some holidays together and the twins still come for weekend visits. Baby A loves playing with Luke and Lucy and they have a ton of fun together! I have learned a lot about their culture and the perspective of a birth parent while their children are in foster care which was incredibly insightful. Their mom also helps me with how to fix Baby A’s hair! I could not be happier for the outcome in their case. They have been reunified with their mom who loves them more than anything else in this world and takes amazing care of them and I still have a relationship with the twins and now their mom and they have an army of people who love them!